


I’m finally where I’m meant to be

by insanity_times_ten



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Foster home, Gen, High School, I'm bad at tags, Jane is protective, Modern AU, Panic Attack, Self Harm, anne is chaotic but protective, catherine is a chatterbox, family-ish stuff, i might just have platonic relationships, iDK tho, kitty needs protection, mentioned rape, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanity_times_ten/pseuds/insanity_times_ten
Summary: Kitty is thrown into a new environment just days after losing her parents, only to be met with what might become the best family she’s had. Kitty’s POV.Catherine (Aragon)- junior, 17Anne (Boleyn)- sophomore, 16Jane (Seymour)- junior, 16Anna (Cleves)- freshman, 15Kitty (Howard)- freshman, 14Cathy (Parr)- sophomore, 15Maggie- 7th Grade, 12Bessie- 7th Grade, 13Joan- 8th Grade, 13Maria- 4th grade, 9
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard
Comments: 31
Kudos: 63





	1. New Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to write, and it might take me forever to write the next chapter as well. Am I proud nonetheless? Very. Also, you’ll notice that I added little bits of information from real life into this, kinda like Easter eggs!

It’s my freshman year. Why am I moving to a new city and school right before high school? That’s what everyone’s asking. I had to move in with my cousin Anne after I lost both my parents in an accident. I should add that Anne has been in the foster care system for a while and I’m moving into a group home with her. I haven’t met her housemates yet, and I’m kinda scared. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m trying to take Anne away from them? Oh well, I need to focus. I’ve got my bag with me, and it’s got my clothes and my favorite blanket in it. The caseworkers told me that I could bring my makeup if I wanted, but to leave my toothbrush and other toiletries.

Ok. Deep breaths Kitty, we’re almost there. Don’t panic. Do. Not. Panic. I’m ok, I’m ok. The male caseworker asks something, but I can’t hear him. The car stops. We’re here. My breathing speeds up even more. My door opens. The female caseworker is squatted outside the car talking to me, but I’m in another dimension.  
“Katherine,” a different voice says, almost a question, tearing me from my panicked trance. “Katherine. Listen to me.” I turn my head slightly to see a kind-faced woman holding my hand. “Focus for me. Can you focus on my breathing?” I try, but to no avail. “Katherine. Look at me. Let me know someone is in there. Try taking deep breaths with me, ok?”  
“Ok,” I say, barely audible. She takes a deep breath, and I follow, but it only takes about two breaths before I break down again, this time into tears.  
“It’s ok, Katherine. My name is Grace. I’m kinda the mother of the house. I’m the one in charge, anyway.”  
“C-can you call me K-Kitty?” I choke through my tears. Grace wraps me in a hug.  
“Of course. Now, let’s get you inside and I’ll get one of the girls to show you around.” We walk through the front yard and into a large house. As soon as I’m inside, I smell chocolate. Anne must have told her housemates that I love chocolate. The walls of the house are a comforting cream-white color. “Can I get a tour guide?” Grace shouts up the staircase that’s a ways off the entryway. Approximately four pairs of feet come bounding down the stairs. Anne is the first one at the bottom.  
“I’m here! Hi KitKat!”  
“Hi,” I reply shyly.  
“Alright Anne, you got this one? I’m gonna go help the younger girls in the kitchen,” says Grace.  
“Yep, you can count on me! Come on Kitty, there’s loads for you to see! First we’ll do introductions for the people down here. Oh! You’re not allowed in the kitchen right now, but it’s right over there,” Anne explained. Right as we were about to go into the living room, a medium-height girl with curly dark brown hair carrying a stack of books ran straight into us.  
“Sorry!” I say, rushing to help her pick up the toppled books.  
“It’s no problem,” the girl says.  
“Kitty, this is Cathy Parr. She’s my same age, and if you couldn’t tell, she likes to read,” Anne informs me.  
“Hi,” I say.  
“See you round, Kitty, I’m gonna go read for a bit.”  
“Ok, see you. Anne, where to now?” I say.  
“Well,” Anne says, “this is the living room, and then that door goes to the little library, and the door to your left goes downstairs to the basement. The younger girls’ rooms are down there, if they want you to see them you can go but otherwise I advise against it.”  
“Ok,” I say, a bit overwhelmed by all the information. “Can we go see the library?”  
“Your wish is my command.” On our way to the library, another girl, a bit shorter than Anne with blonde hair, comes from downstairs. “Oh, Kitty, say hi to Jane.”  
“Hi! I’m Jane, I’m a junior this year, a year older than Anne if you were wondering,” she says.  
“Hi,” I say, still taking in my new environment.  
“Ok, Kitty, to the library!” Anne exclaims, tugging on my arm. As we enter the library, I’m speechless at the number of books on floor-to-ceiling shelves. There are comfy-looking chairs and a bay window with a cushion. I could stay here for hours, but-“Ok Kitty, you still need to see upstairs! Let’s go!” interrupts Anne. We rush up the stairs, and I almost trip about ten times because I’m not quite used to going up stairs this fast. When we finally reach the top of the stairs, Anne pulls me to the right and into a pink painted room with two loft beds. “Grace let me pick out your bedding, I hope you still like pink. Anyway,” Anne takes my bag and throws it onto the bed nearest the door, “this is your bed, you’ve got a desk there under the loft, and here’s the closet, the pink hangers are yours, and the bottom half of the dresser is also yours.”  
“Wow, ok,” I say, still in a bit of a daze.  
“Sorry, I guess I talked kind of fast, didn’t I?”  
“Yeah, kinda.”  
“Ok. Let’s put away your clothes. We’ll finish the tour later.”  
“Sounds great.” We devote the next hour or so to unpacking my clothes.  
While we’re making a bit of small talk, another girl walks into our room, this one with tanned skin and short, fluffy-frizzy curls that fade to blonde at the ends. “Oooh, new girl! What’s your name?” she asks, without ever being invited in.  
“Oh, uh, hi. I’m Katherine, with a K, but I prefer Kitty. What’s your name?”  
“Huh. What a coincidence! My name’s Catherine too, but it’s spelled with a C. And Cathy? I’m sure you’ve met her too, her real name is Catherine with a C as well. Anyway, Grace sent me up to tell you it’s suppertime. See you down there!”  
“Jesus, can she talk!” I say once Catherine is out of the room far enough.  
“Yeah, you’ll get used to her. She’s a year ahead of me in school. Anyway, let’s get you downstairs, I’m sure you’re hungry,” Anne replies. We walk down the stairs and into the dining room, where there’s already places set at the table for everyone, including place cards. There was also a bowl of salad and a few assorted bottles of dressing on the table. I found my place at one of the ends of the table, between Anne and Jane. Grace is at the other end of the table, near who I can only assume Anne referred to as “the younger girls” earlier today.  
Once everyone is seated, Grace gets the group’s attention. “We have a new girl moving in today, I’m sure most of you have met her already, but we’ll have her go ahead and introduce herself anyway.”  
“Right, so, my name’s Katherine Howard, that’s Katherine spelled with a K, but I’d like to be called Kitty,” I say, quite awkwardly.  
“Ok, so before we eat, does anyone have any questions for Kitty? You all know the rules for questions though!” Grace adds.  
One of the younger girls pipes up. “When’s your birthday?”  
“I turn 14 on June 5,” I reply.  
“That’s today!” one of the other younger ones squeals.  
“Alright, if you have any more questions, please ask Kitty after supper,” Grace interjects. We help ourselves to plates of various amounts of salad, followed by spaghetti and garlic bread.  
“Grace, did you make all of this yourself? It’s amazing!” I break the silence.  
“Oh, funny you ask! I’m actually quite a terrible cook, Jane and the younger girls usually make meals!” Without missing a beat, the younger girls haul out a chocolate cake with 14 candles on it and hand a lighter to Grace. Before she lights the candles, they scurry downstairs and back hauling musical instruments. All the girls, and Grace, gather in the corner of the dining room opposite me and proceed to sing “Happy Birthday” in perfect three-part harmony. That’s when I knew that this was the place for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing feedback on my writing, so leave opinions, ideas, and predictions in the comments! Also, Kitty hasn’t met/noticed Anna yet because I’m still not sure if this is going to be purely platonic yet.


	2. It all started...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is a bit of a backstory dump. Not too graphic, but abuse is mentioned a couple times in passing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed to get this out so y’all know what’s happening. Still don’t know if Kitty and Anna are going to be completely platonic, I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

After dinner and cake, I’m approached by a girl who I’m not familiar with, which doesn’t come as a surprise. She is tall, with chocolate brown skin and cropped black hair. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced yet. I’m Anna,” she says.  
“Oh, hi! You… obviously know who I am already. What grade are you going to be in?” I reply.  
“I’m going into freshman year. You?”  
“Wow, same, actually! Do you think you could help me pick my classes later?”  
“‘Course. Anyway, I’m off to my room. Grace usually wants us to have some time to ourselves after dinner. You’re roommates with Anne, that should be interesting. See ya round!”  
“Bye!” I say, before heading up to Anne’s and my room. 

Once I enter the room, Anne yells out “Presents, Kitty!” and promptly hands me a paper bag. She’s gotten me a diary, a set of pens, a choker with a K attached, and… what I think is a rhinestoned black scrunchie.  
“Oh, Anne, you shouldn’t-” I begin.  
“Ah, ah, ah, Kitty, today is your birthday. And anyway, it’s from all of us. We asked the little girls for advice, since Anna is about as far from your personality as they come.”  
“Yeah, so about the little girls..”  
“I know exactly what you mean. The blonde one with the guitar is Maggie, the tall one on bass is Bessie, the redhead on the piano is Joan, and the one with wild black hair and a drum set is Maria. Also, Maria is actually Grace’s biological daughter.”  
“Oh, that’s cool. Grace said something about rules?” I ask, and Anne fires back the most important rules, mostly about the daily schedule. She knows everything about living here. I wonder… “Anne? How long have y-”  
“Since I was six.”  
“What about the others?”  
“They don’t talk about it much, but I remember everything. Jane’s the only one that’s been here longer than me. Grace practically raised her. She was 7 when I got here. She’s a little less than 6 months older than me. Catherine, she’s about 10 months older than me, got here the first time when I was 7, she had just turned 8. She’s been in and out, the agency finds relatives they think are suitable, but they aren’t, and she comes back. Maria was born around that time. Cathy came in next. I was eight, and she was almost exactly my age. She was coming out of a pretty long hospital stay, she barely survived the car crash that killed her parents and brother. We didn’t get any more placements for about four years, that’s when Anna showed up. She was 11, I was about twelve and a half. Then we had another lull, this one about two and a half years. A few days after my fifteenth birthday, Bessie arrived, abandoned on the front porch covered in burns and bruises. Within three months, Maggie and Joan were here as well, and then you arrived today.” Anne says this with a faraway look in her eyes, as though she’s reliving every moment.  
We sit in a stunned silence for awhile until Grace shouts up the stairs that it’s time for bed.


	3. Adventures in shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos at the mall.

One morning at breakfast, Grace announces that the older girls will be taking me shopping. Anne looks more than excited at this prospect, but Cathy on the other hand seems like she’s willing herself to disappear. I’m fairly certain that the outcome of this trip is not going to be what Grace had in her head.   
After breakfast, Grace hands Jane a debit card and we all pile into the car to head to the mall.   
Once we get to the mall, Jane insists we get some “sensible clothing” for me, which means going to American Eagle (obviously), H&M (for church clothes, Catherine was bound and determined), and the Nike store.   
American Eagle: I pick out mostly hoodies and skinny jeans. Jane asks if I want summer clothes. I shoot her a look, she seems to understand. Not really, though. No one really understands. Anne and Anna make fun of the lacy bras. We almost get kicked out of the store.   
H&M: I refuse to try on anything Catherine gives me, it’s all either short sleeved or sleeveless.   
Nike: Again, lots of hoodies, but also some leggings and a sports bra (to appease Jane). I also got hot pink tennis shoes. Anne and Anna play with the soccer balls, Cathy joins in. They knock over a display, we almost get kicked out.   
And we’re still not done. Jane drags us all to Pottery Barn so I can pick out some room decor. I’m fine with most of the stuff Anne picked out for me, but I did find a fluffy throw blanket, so I got that because Jane wouldn’t let me leave until I picked something out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short, I guess I’ve lost a bit of my spark. I’m done with the school year now though, so more time to write!


	4. Coming to Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw’s: panic attack, mentioned rape, abuse, and self harm

I’ve been living here for almost 2 months now. One day, Grace calls up the stairs. “Kitty? Can you come down here please?”  
“Sure, be right down!” I say, slapping on the smile that I only let go around Anne. I rush down the stairs, not wanting to make Grace mad.   
“Hey, Kitty,” she says softly. “Jane told me that you’ve been acting a little… off, is how she put it, lately. I just wanted to make sure everything’s ok, you’re settling in fine, all that stuff.”  
“Yeah, uh, everything’s… great, actually, thanks for asking.” I turn to leave, but Grace stops me. She steers me toward the dining room and pulls out a chair for me   
“Kitty,” she says again, this time quite firmly. “You’re hiding something.”  
My smile falters. “I… well, you wouldn’t understand.”  
“Try me.”   
“I was born into a happy family. I was the only child, their pride and joy. That is, until my father died. I barely knew him. It was ok with just me and my mom, till she found...him.” I can feel my breathing getting faster and more shallow, yet I do nothing to try to calm myself. “My stepdad...he was...nothing like my mom thought he was. He had two boys, which would have been fine if they weren’t just smaller versions of him. And...and his...his friends...they...he…”  
“Kitty, it’s ok if you want to stop, but if you’re gonna keep going, I need you to try and calm down. Just...try and breathe with me. In and out, like this.”  
“No!” I say shooting out of my chair.   
“Kitty, calm down, I’m trying to help. I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder…”  
“No!” I say again, this time with more force. “Don’t touch me!” I sink to the floor and hug my knees to my chest, crying. “Don’t...don’t touch me...don’t...touch...me…”  
“Kitty. Can you please try and take a deep breath for me? I’m not going to hurt you, I’m not going to touch you, but I need you to at least try.” I make the attempt, and I must have done something right, because Grace mutters “thank you” over and over under her breath. She moves her hand toward my hair and begins to stroke my ponytail. I almost hiss at her, then I remember. She’s trying to help me. “Do you want to keep talking? We can stay on the floor if you’d like.”  
“Actually, can we talk in your room?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Grace leads me to her room. “So, we left off with your stepdad. Do you wanna tell me what happened with him? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
“He would beat me, but that was if he was in a good mood. If he wasn’t...I think the scars can speak for themselves.”  
“Scars?”  
“Yeah. I’ve got scars from him and a few from his friends.”  
“What’d his friends do to you? Sorry if I’m going too far.”  
“It’s fine. He’d dress me up in all sorts of revealing clothes and make me get them drinks. Once they were all drunk, they’d start...poking and tugging and pinching, and soon enough…” My voice trails off, not wanting to go into detail.  
“How old were you?”  
“I was ten when he started beating me, and I was 12 when he started letting his friends…”  
“Oh, wow. Can I see your scars?”  
“Yeah, I guess.” I take off my hoodie, amazed that I’m trusting this woman I met two months ago, and her jaw drops. Her gaze shifts from the cigarette burns on my chest and shoulders to the long scratches on my back. Then she catches sight of the smaller scars crisscrossing up and down my arms.   
“Did he…”  
“No. I did that.”  
“Why?”  
“I just… I don't know, I guess I wanted to blame someone for what happened, take my anger out on someone. That person happened to be me.” I say the last sentence with a shrug.  
“Are you still cutting yourself? Do I need to have someone monitor you all the time, make sure you’re not endangering yourself?” Grace seems really worried.   
“No, I’m fine, really. All these cuts are almost two and a half months old, at least. I’m clean, I swear.”  
“Ok, just… I don’t know, I've never dealt with this before. Every placement is different, everyone’s got a different way of coping. I’ve seen girls scratch all up and down their arms, pull on their hair, even scrub themselves raw in the shower, but never cut themselves.”  
“That’s ok. I’m fine, seriously.”  
“I’m gonna keep you safe, even from yourself.”  
“No, really, I’m fine!”  
“I’m serious, Kitty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kitty’s stepdad and his friends need to rot in hell, yay!


	5. “Guys I have the plague!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up! Vomit is mentioned twice in passing!

I wake up one morning shivering cold, even though I have three blankets piled on top of me. I look over to Anne’s bed, but she isn’t there. Weird, she’s not usually up this early… I catch a glimpse of the clock: 11 am! I’ve never gotten up this late before. I hope Grace isn’t mad.  
I stagger downstairs to the kitchen, where there isn’t anyone except Grace and Anne. “Where is everyone?” I ask, recoiling when the sun hits my face through the window.   
“They’re all around the house, and everyone’s sick as a dog. The younger girls are in their rooms, Catherine and Jane are sitting out in the front yard, Anna’s in her room, and Cathy’s in the living room. Anne’s got a wicked headache right now, but she won’t leave me. If you can get her upstairs, I’ll make you some chicken noodle soup.”  
“I thought you couldn’t cook!”  
“It’s from the can, relax!”  
“You’ve got yourself a deal.” I take Anne by the hand and lead her upstairs. I have to help her up the ladder to her bed, but once she gets settled, she covers her head with a blanket and goes to sleep.   
I’m starting to head back downstairs to pester Grace about my soup when I begin to feel lightheaded. I try to ignore it but fall right to the floor when I try to take another step. I hear Grace call for me, so I look around for something to pull myself back up, but I fell in the middle of a hallway and there isn’t much around me. “Grace!” I cry out. She comes rushing up the stairs.  
“Gosh, Kitty, I just got Maria to sleep… where are you?” Grace sounds frustrated.  
“I’m down here.” Her gaze shifts down to where I am sitting.  
“What are you doing down there?”  
“I fell.”  
“Can you stand? Did you hit your head?” She seems concerned.  
“No, I just kinda collapsed. I might be able to stand, I just need help getting up…” Grace grabs my hands and helps me to my feet, but as soon as she lets go of me I topple backwards again. Thankfully she catches me before I hit the ground.  
“Let’s get you to bed. I’ll bring your soup up here with some water. You need to rest before you hurt yourself.” So, it’s back to bed with me. I guess a little rest wouldn’t hurt…  
Eventually, Grace brings me water and some soup. I’m finally allowed to get out of bed again, so I go to the living room. Cathy is sitting on the couch. “What’s up?” I ask her.  
She coughs, one of those coughs that sounds like you’re about to hack up one of your lungs. “Not much. Grace won’t let me do much either. Fever’s too high, that’s what she says.”  
“How high is it?”  
She chuckles. “A hundred degrees. She’s a little overprotective, if you can’t tell.”  
“Huh. You’d have thought it was higher. I fell earlier, she didn’t even want me to leave my bed. I can leave you to rest, if you want…”  
“No. Stay.” I sit down on the couch next to her. “I haven’t had anyone to talk to all day.” We sit and talk for awhile, till Grace comes and shoos me out of the room because Cathy is “too contagious” (her words, not mine).   
I decide that going to the front yard is a safe bet. I don’t have to go up or down too many stairs to get to where Jane and Catherine are sitting on a blanket.  
“Hey, Kitty,” Jane says, giving a small wave.   
“How’s it going?” I ask. Catherine scoots over a little bit to make room for me to sit.   
“Well, Catherine’s not doing too well, she was up all night throwing up and refuses to go to sleep. I’m doing pretty good, I’ve still got a fever and a nasty cough. How about you?”  
“I’ve been better. Fever, but no cough and I’m not throwing up. I did faint though, I think I gave Grace a heart attack. Anything on Anna?”  
Catherine decides to contribute to the conversation. “She’s convinced she’s dying of the plague and won’t leave her and Cathy’s room. Won’t let anyone in either. We got tired of listening to her and Grace bicker through the door and came out here.”  
“Well, that sounds delightful. It’s too quiet inside, I think I’ll stay out here for a bit.”  
“Please do. We need some fresh conversation,” Jane pouts. I sit on the blanket and there I stay until Grace calls us back inside for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain has been completely gone lately, I’m working on new chapters for my other two WIPs right now, don’t know when those’ll be done but stay tuned!


	6. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations from the story that weren’t shown or elaborated on.   
> Ch. 1- before Kitty arrives  
> Ch. 2- exchange between Kitty and Anna after dinner  
> Ch. 3- conversation on the way to the mall  
> Ch. 4- nightmare/ hallucination induced by Kitty’s trauma (tw mentioned/implied rape and abuse)  
> Ch. 5- Anna’s “I have the plague” charade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun, horrifying, and hilarious to write, all at the same time. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Grace: Alright, we’re gonna have a new girl living with us, I don’t know how long. She’s Anne’s cousin. Anne, she’ll be rooming with you, ok?

Anne: Sounds good.

Cathy: When’s she coming?

Grace: In a couple days, June 5th to be exact. Which, as I have been told, is also her birthday. I want everyone to make her feel extra welcome, you all know how crappy you felt on your first day here. Now, Jane, you’ll be helping the little girls make a cake and dinner for that night.

Jane: What kind of cake? If you tell me, I can go look for recipes now. 

Grace: Um… Anne?

Anne: If I remember correctly, chocolate cake is her favorite. 

Grace: Great. Chocolate cake and the traditional first-night dinner. Got it, Jane?

Jane: Got it. 

Grace: Everyone else, you’re on cleaning and tour guide duties. Keep an ear out for anything else. 

Chapter 2

Kitty: So… I don’t remember meeting you.

Anna: Yeah. Er, I mean hi. I’m Anna. Anna Cleves. 

Kitty: And I’m Kitty Howard.

Anna: Yeah, I know. 

Kitty: Are you okay?

Anna: Uh… yes. What grade are you going into? I’m gonna be a freshman.

Kitty: Same, actually. That’s cool.

Anna: Yeah, it is. Um! Anyway, I’m gonna go… to my room…

Kitty: You’re sure you’re okay?

Anna: Yeah, Grace just usually likes us to have some quiet time before bed. See ya round. 

Kitty: See ya. 

Chapter 3

Jane: Kitty, you are getting nice clothes, and that is final!

Kitty: But Jane! I already have clothes, I don’t wanna waste Grace’s money!

Catherine: Ay, child. Grace is like this with everyone. When I would leave, I’d be back in two months tops. Every time I came back to Grace’s, she would say “Catherine! Did you outgrow any of your clothes while you were gone? I can get some more if you need me to!”

Kitty: Wow. That’s… 

Catherine: Obsessive, to say the least? 

Kitty: Definitely. But that still doesn’t mean I need new clothes.

Jane: Just… get a little something. It’ll make Grace happy when she sees you got something new. She just wants the best for us. 

Kitty: Ugh, fine! That’s not a promise that I’ll wear anything, though!

Chapter 4

George (Kitty’s stepdad): Go ahead. Tell her. You deserved every bit of it and you know it. So tell her you deserved it. Tell her just how much of a little bitch you are. You’re nothing, just a lying, stealing little-

Kitty: Get out of my head!

Mannox: He’s right! You don’t know a thing, you’re just a pretty little doll, you matter just about as much as the dirt under my nails. 

Kitty: Go away! I don’t want you here!

Dereham: Yes, you do! You wanted this. You brought this all upon yourself. You knew the trauma it would cause you, and yet you said it. You said yes. Now come here, little Kitten. 

Mannox and Dereham (blending together): We have a connection… connection… can’t you see? Connection… connection… connection…

All 3 men: Connection… we have a connection… you like that, don’t you… connection… connection… kitten… Katherine…

Kitty (over the men): Stop… no! Please, stop! No, no… stop… just STOP!

Chapter 5

Grace: Anna, let me in!

Anna: No! I’ve got the plague! Can’t I just die alone?

Grace: You aren’t dying. Now, let me in, I have to take your temperature.

Anna: Why do you care how high my fever is if I’m just gonna die anyway?

Grace: I told you, you’re not dying. And quiet down, you’re gonna wake everyone else up. 

Anna: Yes, I am dying, and you quiet down so I can die in peace.

-a couple hours later-

Anna: Grace!

Grace: What? Are you gonna let me in yet?

Anna: No, I just wanted to let you know that my condition is worsening. I fully expect to be dead by sundown.

Grace: Okay, just keep this conversation in mind when you need someone to quench your dying thirst.

-a few hours later-

Anna: Grace! It’s finally happening… I feel faint… don’t come in though…

Grace: No, Anna! Don’t go into the light! Stay, I pray you!

Anna: No… I must. I’m getting… weaker by the second…

Grace: Anna! Don’t you dare die on me!

Anna: Bleh! (she’s pretending to be dead)

Grace: (sinking to the floor outside Anna’s room, feigning anguish) NOOOOOO!

Anna: (comes to the door and opens it a tiny crack) You do realize I was pretending, right?

Grace: Yeah. Can I come in now? I brought a cookie.

Anna: Fine. But be warned, I still have the plague.


	7. Rearview Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty learns the depressing backstory of one of her housemates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeskip of four months. It’s December.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Car accidents  
> Drunk driving  
> Comas (mentioned)  
> Amputation/prosthetic limbs (idk if this is a trigger for anyone)  
> Cathy curses exactly once in this chapter.

Something is different about today. It’s like a dark fog has settled over the house, putting a damper on everyone’s mood. Something seems wrong at the table during breakfast… then I see. Cathy’s chair is empty.  
“Hey, Grace?” I ask and she looks up. “This is probably way out of place for me to ask, but where’s Cathy?”  
“Oh. She won’t be joining us down here today.” The tension in the room shifts slightly, but soon gets heavier. After breakfast, I approach Grace in the kitchen.  
“I can take a plate up to Cathy if you want me to.”  
“Please. I get worried about her… she just represses all her feelings, tries to be such a stoic. She won’t go into therapy… I finally got her to start keeping a journal a few months ago.”  
“I’ll see if I can talk to her. She’s bound to appreciate the food, at least.”  
Grace gives a tiny sliver of a smile. “Yeah. She will.” I put together an assortment of today’s breakfast foods and take it up to Cathy’s room, which she shares with Anna. It isn’t hard to identify her room, as it’s the only one with the door closed. I knock on the door once, twice, three times before Cathy opens it.  
“Hey, Grace just wanted me to bring you some food…” I say, trailing off when I catch sight of Cathy. She looks like death itself, her clothing rumpled, face puffy, eyes red, hair a mess.  
“Thanks,” she mutters, taking the plate and beginning to close the door.  
“Wait.” I stick my foot between the door and door frame. “Can I come in?” She shrugs.  
“If you want. Nothing exciting going on.” She opens the door again. I step inside, taking a look around. Her side of the room is littered with pens, crumpled pieces of paper, and used tissues, while Anna’s side is surprisingly clean, with only a few articles of dirty clothing on the floor.  
“So, uh, what’s up?” I ask tentatively, not wanting to hit a nerve.  
“The ceiling.” I roll my eyes. “Oh, you actually want to know?”  
“Yeah. Be honest, I think I can take it.”  
“Well, it’s not like you care, but my parents died eight years ago today.”  
“Oh, Cathy, I’m so sorry! I had no idea. I can leave if you want-”  
“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything. And seriously, stay. I gotta vent, and Anna already has to put up with my crying. It’s not like she wants to hear my sad story.”  
“Ok. Tell me anything you’re comfortable with saying.”  
“Well, I was eight. We were coming home from… some family thing, I don’t remember. All I know is that there was alcohol wherever we were. My dad insisted on driving. My mom offered to drive multiple times since he was drunk, but he kept saying no. Everything was fine until we hit a patch of ice. My dad got a little bit of control back, but being drunk, that’s as good as nothing. I don’t remember what exactly happened afterwards. The doctors told me that the car broke through a guardrail and fell partway down a hill.”  
“Wow, that sounds…”  
“Shitty? Yeah, it was.” I nearly interrupt her for cursing but decide against it. “I woke up in the hospital. I’m told I was in a coma for two days. You can't imagine how I felt being told that my entire family was dead and that I had missed the funeral. Then I looked down at my feet and saw that I only had a leg and a half. Eight years old, an orphan, and an amputee. I try to put it all in the rearview mirror, if you will, but I’m just not ready to let go of them, especially my brother. He was only three. Makes me wonder what kind of person he would have become.”  
“I understand completely. I’m the same way with my mom.”  
“Thanks. It’s not every day someone comes along that understands.”  
“Also, you’re an amputee? That’s so cool!”  
“Yeah, till you have to deal with phantom pains. Nightmares. Prosthetics. Therapy. Stares and stairs. Using the stairs here before I got a prosthesis was a nightmare. I don’t usually go out in public because, big shocker! People stare. I try to avoid shorts at all costs as well. I have a limp, but it’s hardly noticeable until I get tired.”  
“Sorry. I had no idea.”  
“You’re right. You didn’t. And I didn’t have to tell you any of that, but I want you to be educated. I want people to stop staring. To stop judging. So, I choose to educate.”  
“Now that’s cool.”  
“Darn right it is.”

Late that night, I knock softly on Grace’s door, unsure if she’s even awake, not wanting to wake her. Surprisingly, she comes to the door, fully awake. “Kitty, you’re supposed to be asleep.”  
“I know. I have something to ask you.”  
“Whatever it is, I’m listening.”  
“Will you take me shopping tomorrow? I think my wardrobe needs a change of pace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for depressing backstories!


	8. Last Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas at Grace’s house is full of surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> Holidays/ holiday celebrations (if you couldn’t tell from the title)  
> Referenced/implied abuse and domestic violence

When I, along with all the other high schoolers, walk downstairs on the morning of December 25, I am greeted by the smell of pine mixed with mint and the faintest scent of gingerbread. The presents under the tree are all wrapped in shiny paper, and there’s no telling how long Grace spent wrapping all of them.   
“Okay, everyone. You can go ahead and look in your stockings,” Grace announces, stepping into the living room. I hadn’t even noticed the ten oversized socks hanging over the fireplace. I take mine, colored hot pink with “Kitty” written in glitter glue across the top, down from its place next to Anne’s and look inside. On the top are face masks, different chocolate candies, and hot pink nail polish. After taking all of that out, I spot a small white box at the bottom. I whip it out of my stocking and rip it open. The label reads “Manic Panic Hair Dye: Hot Hot Pink.” I look around the room and see that all the other girls have received hair dye in various colors.   
“I thought you might want a new look when you go back to school,” Grace reasons. “I’ve got a few boxes of the Manic Panic lightening solution for you dark-headed children.”  
“Thank you!” Jane says, and we all follow suit, chorusing thanks at various volumes.  
“It’s no problem, really. Now, you’ve all got three presents from me, and one from your secret Santa. You all know the drill, oldest to youngest!” 

A/N: here’s what all they got for their presents in case you were wondering

Catherine- eyeshadow palette, selfie light, new phone, (Grace) vanilla scented lotion (Maria)  
Anne- Bluetooth speaker, Kanken, Nike Air Forces, (Grace) microwave ramen cooker (Cathy)  
Jane- Record player, assorted movie soundtracks on vinyl, bath bombs, (Grace) sample tins of different teas (Anna)  
Anna- pride flag, Rihanna CDs, iPad, (Grace) headphones (Joan)  
Kitty- essential oils, oil diffuser, denim jacket, (Grace) potted succulent (Bessie)  
Cathy- chromebook laptop, leather-bound journal, book of writing prompts, (Grace) engraved fountain pen (Kitty)  
Maggie- new guitar strap, terrarium, promise of a trip to the pet store, (Grace) metal lizard statue (Anne)  
Bessie- new picks for her bass, Harry Potter boxed set, Lego spaceship kit, (Grace) clay face mask (Jane)  
Joan- broadway songbooks, Polaroid camera, photo album, (Grace) lip gloss set (Catherine)  
Maria- converse sneakers, cake decorating supplies, dessert recipe book, (Grace) paint set (Maggie)

End A/N

After we all open our presents, we basically have to beg Grace to open our present to her. “You guys shouldn’t have gotten me anything! I’ve got all I need right here!” she protests. Finally, after much pushing, she rips off the paper. “A blender!”   
“You know, since *someone* broke the other one?” Jane points out, giving a serious side-eye to a blushing Anna.   
At the breakfast table, Anne has an idea. “You know what we haven’t done for a long time, Grace? We haven’t played Last Christmas in forever.”  
“We can play it if you’re gonna explain the rules to everyone.”  
“Deal. So basically, we go around the table once saying something, positive or negative, we did on or around last Christmas, again saying what we want to be doing on or around next Christmas, and one more time saying what we want for one other person on or around next Christmas. I’ll start. Last Christmas, I talked to my brother George for the first time in almost 10 years.”  
“That’s great, Anne,” I say. “Looks like I’m next. This isn’t something for young ears, is that ok?” Grace nods, and the four youngest girls cover their ears. “Last Christmas, I was in the hospital because my stepfather nearly killed me when I stepped between him and my mom.”  
“Well, that’s dark,” Anna mutters, and Grace shoots her a look. “Sorry. I guess I’m next? Last Christmas, I came out as lesbian.” That explains why she was so awkward around me on that first night. She had, maybe still has, a crush on me.


	9. It was a dark and stormy night...

It’s a late Friday night, sometime in January. No one can sleep because of a big storm blowing in, so Grace decides to let us stay up as long as we want so long as we let her sleep. Jane has organized us all into a circle on the living room floor and made sure we all have enough to eat and drink. Anne suggests that we play a game of Truth or Dare and we all agree. I’m going to use this as an opportunity to figure out more about Anna.   
“Kitty, truth or dare?” Maria asks. She gets to go first because she’s the youngest.   
“Dare,” I say after much deliberation.  
“Hmmmm… I dare you to go touch Maggie’s lizard.” That’s breaking two of my internal rules- don’t go downstairs, and never touch a lizard.   
But, instead of saying no, like I want to, I narrow my eyes and say “Ok.” I run downstairs and barely brush my finger against the lizard, affectionately called Leonardo.  
When I return to the living room, I already know who I’m going to ask. “Anna. Truth or dare.”  
“Truth.” This is going to be easier than I thought.  
“Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?”  
“No.” Well, that was unexpected. The game continues on, and I participate halfheartedly, knowing that my fairly solid assumption was wrong. When the game gets a little wild, Grace comes down from her room to send the little girls to bed and the game breaks up. I decide to talk to Anna privately.  
“You know how you said you don’t have a crush on any of us?” Jesus. Why can’t I even pretend to have social skills?  
“Uh...yeah? I mean, I was the one to say it.”  
“Right, right. You...are a lesbian, right? I didn’t just hear you wrong that day?”  
“Jeez, Kitty, are you ok? You’re not usually like this.”  
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little...confused, I guess.”  
“Ok. Anyway, yes, I am lesbian. Is that a problem?”  
“No, no, not at all.”  
“Alright, what did you want to ask me?” She sounds mad.  
“Wow, don’t be mad!”  
“I’m not.” Great, so now I have no conversation skills AND I’m bad at reading people. What else can I lose tonight?   
“So, uh, you’re sure you don’t have a crush on any of us? Like, completely sure?”  
“Yeah...Kitty, you seriously don’t seem okay. You good?”  
“Like I said, I’m fine! I just… I thought you had a crush on me.” I pause. “Ok, that’s a serious understatement. I was hoping you had a crush on me, mostly just to prove a theory I had. But now, I gotta admit- I… kinda have feelings for you. I guess on my search to figure you out, I went on a little journey of self-discovery… god, I’m such an idiot.” I run upstairs and climb into my bed, flopping facedown onto my pillow.   
I don’t know how long I’ve been there when I hear a knock on the door. “Go away,” I say, not wanting any human interaction. Especially not Anna, not after I made a fool of myself downstairs.  
“Not gonna happen,” I hear Cathy’s voice say. She pulls my desk chair from under the loft and sits down. “Tell me what happened. I want every juicy detail. Or not. If you’re not comfortable, that’s fine too. Whatever you want.”  
“I’m not in the mood.”  
“Ok. You wanna at least tell me what’s got you down? I may be able to help.”  
“Take a wild guess.”  
“School drama? Boy trouble? Oh, please tell me it’s boy trouble.”  
“Close. Girl trouble.”  
“Ah, you’re on your- wait a second. Wait. A. Second!”  
“I’m waiting.”  
“You have a crush!” she says in a sing-song voice.  
“Perhaps. What does it matter to you anyway?”  
“I think I deserve to know what’s going on in my sister’s life.”  
“Hold on, you think of me as your sister?”  
“Yeah. I do with everyone. So do Jane and Maria, but they don’t mention it much.”  
“Hmm. I may steal that.”  
“Be my guest. Anyway, who’s the lucky gal?”  
“You’re gonna think I’m stupid.”  
“Not a bit. Go on.”  
I take a breath. “Anna.”  
“Yes!”  
“What was that?”  
“Oh, sorry. Your cousin just owes me 20 bucks.”  
“You guys were betting on me? I suddenly regret everything I’ve told you.”  
“We weren’t just betting on you. We were betting on you and Anna.”  
“Wow, I feel so much better about myself,” I say sarcastically.  
“Anyway, I know she doesn’t like you back, she said so when you asked her during Truth or Dare. I’m proud of you for telling her.” She turns to leave.  
“Wait, Cathy.”  
She faces me again. “Yeah?”  
“Thank you.” I pause. “For everything.”  
“No problem. Now, you get some sleep before I have Jane come talk to you.”  
“Fine,” I say as Cathy turns out my light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that!


	10. Epilogue: A Real Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I was not necessarily losing sleep over this but I needed something, darn it! (I’m sure you all needed some form of closure as well)
> 
> Anyway this briefly mentions Kitty's abuse once, so do what you need to.

“Morning, sunshine,” I hear Cathy coo. “It’s your birthday, remember?”

My eyes fly open. “How could I forget?” I nearly knock my head against the ceiling as I sit up. 

“Woah, don’t want to end up with a concussion on your birthday! And you may want to check yourself in the mirror before you head downstairs, Grace is gonna want pictures.” I take Cathy’s advice and head to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. 

Feeling refreshed after a shower, I throw on a tank top and some shorts. In the year I’ve been here, I’ve definitely become more comfortable in my own skin, scars and all. I head to Cathy’s room to pester her into braiding my wet hair.

“Ow, Cathy, you’re pulling it too hard!” I’ve convinced Cathy to do my hair, and I am sitting on her bedroom floor while she works. 

“If you wanted someone who would be gentle, you should’ve asked Jane or Catherine,” Cathy says around the hair tie in her mouth.

“Well, Jane doesn’t know how to do a French braid, and Catherine talks too much.”

“I’ve taught you well, I guess, even if I’ve only earned a complaining Kitty.” I sit quietly for a while, biting back any further complaints until I come up with something to talk about. 

“Hey, Cathy, I’ve got a question,” I finally say.

“I’m all ears. What d’you wanna know?”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I do!” She glances around as if to check for anyone that might be listening. “Besides, I haven’t seen anyone else in this house date someone for more than a month, let alone three. They don’t have any skills.” I have to laugh. She’s not the slightest bit wrong. Anne is the most noncommittal person you’ll meet, Anna can’t seem to find anyone, and Jane and Catherine are both still moping over their latest wastes of time.

“Catherine Renée Parr,” I joke, “how dare you speak that way about your sisters?”

Cathy stops in her tracks. “Where’d you learn my middle name?”

“Catherine told me.”

“Ugh, she knows everything about everyone.”

“That’s why her hair is so big- it’s full of secrets,” I say, causing Cathy to roll her eyes at the reference. “Anyway, do you think anyone’s wondering where we are?”

“Well, no one’s come looking for us yet, but I don’t see why they wouldn’t be. You’ve gotta let me finish your braid first, though!” I stick out my tongue, which Cathy thankfully doesn’t see, and about five minutes later the braid is done. I tug Cathy to her feet and down the stairs, coming to where everyone is waiting in the living room. Anne is at my side as soon as I set foot in the room.

“KitKat!” she yells, throwing her arms around my neck. “Happy birthday!” Everyone else chimes in with their “happy birthdays” at varying levels of enthusiasm. I give Anne a big hug, but she winces when I pull away.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“No, I somehow managed to fall out of bed this morning,” she says, clearly still trying to process whatever happened.

“I heard it all the way in my room,” Cathy states. “You hit the ground really hard.”

“You think I didn’t notice?” Anne retorts before turning back to me. “She came in and took one look at me laying on the floor, laughed, and started playing with your hair.”

“It’s true,” Jane pipes up. “I heard the thud but went back to sleep, and I went to check to see what happened. When I looked in, Cathy was standing on your ladder and whispering to you or something.”

I look at Cathy. “You were?” Cathy shrugs as her face turns bright red.

“As cute as you two are together,” Grace says, striding into the room, “I’d really rather Cathy didn’t watch Kitty sleep.”

“It is kinda weird that you were playing with my hair while I was asleep…”

“I went in there to see what the noise was!” Cathy attempts to defend herself.

“Um, no. Based on what Anne said, you clearly had other things on your mind.” Grace gives Cathy a look before going back into the kitchen.

I notice Catherine then, who has apparently been sitting in a chair with an amused look on her face this entire time. “What do you think about all this?” I ask her.

Catherine shrugs. “Personally, I don’t really care what you guys do. You’re in a relationship, it’s not our place to tell you what to do. But as the oldest child in this ‘family,’ I would suggest keeping the PDA to a minimum. We do have a ten-year-old in the house.”

“In ze Haus of Holbein!” Anne practically screams, jumping up from the couch, only to sit back down in pain. Even I roll my eyes at that one. 

We all somehow make it through breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes) without anyone hitting anyone else. After breakfast, the little girls decide to give me a present.

“It’s Spikey Mikey’s brother!” Maria exclaims, referring to the succulent I got from Bessie at Christmas.

“You could name him Gerard,” Anna halfheartedly suggests. 

I think about it. “Y’know what? I will.”

Anna gives me a shocked look. “You just need two more,” Anne says. “Frank and Ray. Then you’ll have My Chemical Succulents.”

Anne receives an even more shocked look. “You took my suggestions?” Anna asks. 

“Yeah, and that spiraled into listening to their entire discography, which has become a full-blown obsession…” The two go into an animated emo banter, which I effectively tune out. After I thank the four youngest ones, Cathy takes my hand and brings me back to her room.

“Listen,” she says, “before you get mad at me-”

“Bit late for that,” I quip.

“Still, listen.”

“Cathy, no. I don’t think you get it.”

“Get what?”

“I’ve told you what my stepdad and his friends did, right?” I pause, and she nods. “Well, sometimes he would come into my room and stroke my hair or whatever before he...y’know.” Technically, this only happened once, but I’m trying to make a point.

“Kitty, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I’d tell anyone but you that sorry won’t cut it, but I love you. Besides, if anyone would understand bad flashbacks it’d be you and maybe Bessie.” 

We sit in a strained silence for a little while. I’m pretty sure I can hear Cathy thinking. Finally, she speaks up. “Kitty, I want you to listen to me.” I turn my head towards her. “I’d never try anything like that with you, okay? And if anything I do or say makes you uncomfortable, I need you to tell me. But first- is there anything I can do to make up for today?”

“Get everyone out of the house,” I begin. “Then turn on an old Disney movie and maybe cuddle with me.”

“Getting rid of everyone is gonna be a tall order, but I’ve got a door that locks and a laptop that can access Disney+, if that works.”

“Good enough.” Cathy immediately sets up her laptop and lets me pick the movie while she goes to get snacks. 

I jolt awake when I hear a scream come from downstairs or maybe the front yard. It’s not much, but it’s enough to startle me into a sitting position.

“Hey,” Cathy says. “It’s about time you woke up.”

“How long have I been out?” I ask.

“Three movies or so.” She holds a chocolate-covered strawberry to my lips. “Eat this.”

I take the strawberry from her. “Where’d you get it?”

“Jane made a platter of them and left the whole thing outside the door.”

“Wow.” I take a bite, but soon another scream causes me to drop the rest of the berry. I cuddle up next to Cathy for protection.

She must sense my tension. “It’s okay. Anne made up some game and they’re playing it in the yard. Do you want me to go tell them to shut up?” I nod, expecting her to leave, but she goes over to her window instead and opens it. “Hey, whoever was screaming! Can you not? Kitty just woke up, and I’d rather she didn’t have a panic attack on her birthday.”

“You’re too good,” I say, blushing a bit. She sits down next to me and we watch the movie for a little while longer before she speaks up.

“This is gonna sound weird.”

“It’s okay. Tell me anyway.” I reach out to grab her hands and smile at her. 

“Can I… can I kiss you?”

I take a sharp breath in and nod while tucking a piece of hair that managed to escape from my braid behind my ear. When Cathy’s lips first meet mine, the touch is butterfly-soft, barely even there. Then she pulls me closer and we practically melt into each other.

“That… you… you’re amazing!” Cathy manages to sputter when we quite reluctantly pull apart.

“Was that your first?” I ask her, not sure what kind of answer I’m expecting.

“Not unless you count the time I kissed a kid on the playground when I was about five,” she says with a laugh.

Grace knocks on the door. “Dinner,” she says quietly, probably hearing the movie still playing in the background.

After a dinner of (I’m sure you can guess) spaghetti and chocolate cake, I receive a couple more presents. From Cathy, a charm bracelet, and from everyone else, a selection of “self-care items,” as Catherine and Jane put it. The rest of the evening is fairly quiet, save for Anne’s attempt at cheating at Monopoly.

At around eleven o’clock, Cathy comes into my room. I can’t yell at her for disturbing me because I’m not asleep. Instead, I hiss, “What are you doing?”

“One last birthday present,” she explains. She takes me outside, where she already has a blanket spread out on the driveway, plus the rest of Jane’s chocolate-covered strawberries. “Lay down on the blanket,” Cathy instructs. 

Once I lay down and look up, I see stars. Cathy points out various constellations and feeds me strawberries, but my favorite part of the night is right when we are about to go back inside.

Cathy takes me onto the porch and says something about the stars being able to lead sailors home and that the stars led her to me, but I hear none of it. I do, however, feel her wrap her arms around my waist. Her hands rest on my lower back, but she doesn’t let them wander. Instead she pulls me close and kisses me one last time for the night, firmly and softly all at the same time. That kiss is the last thing on my mind as I climb into my bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parrward deserves the world. Try to change my mind, I dare you.
> 
> If y’all wanna see something else in this universe let me know, I'm not crazy about it by any means but I would consider coming back to it for a bit. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
